Ok, here we go… I know I’m asking for it, but I am just so blown away by the personal attacks that strangers launch upon one another.
I just received a truly MEAN email in my NS inbox that really rattled me. And, admittedly, I should ignore it, but I am not the type of person who can ignore such rude behavior. So I am posting it. I did send a direct response to the woman who wrote the email — which I will also post below — and I could not help but be snippy with her, because her email to me was JUST. SO. RUDE.
And then, this is the NICE part, I am very happy to post the honest and kind email Shamelessly Sheryl sent me clarifying the post she wrote the other day. In contrast to the nasty email, Sheryl demonstrates that there ARE NICE PEOPLE OUT THERE. Actually, we have since had a few more email exchanges, and I have to say, I heart Sheryl. She is level-headed, honest and direct. So refreshing. Sheryl, you are shamelessly sincere — thank you.
ITEM 1: FROM SHERYL
Katrina, this is Sheryl.
I’m sitting here in shock…and confusion…
I wasn’t being hurtful or negative towards your post at all…in fact, that was my very cheesy, ‘go on, girl!’ loving nod towards you and your post. I happen to be a fan of your blog and like what you do—-I’m sorry you mistakenly took my post to be sarcastic, because I wrote that as a sorta high five to your gig in comparison to my own less glamorous gig. I don’t DO sarcasm. And a “glamazon” title is a compliment in my world—I only wish I were one as well!
Anyways, peace out. Thanks for the shout-out though….I think? ;)
ITEM 2: MY RESPONSE TO SHERYL
Oh, thank you SO, SO much for reaching out. I was really hurt by your post, and I clearly I took it the wrong way. There are so many meanies out there who regularly attack, and I really do work SOOOOO hard, and felt that it was one of those situations in which I needed to defend myself.
You truly made my day with this — I just read (and responded to) another email from a reader telling me I was “stupid” and attacking me for responding to your post.
Do you mind if I post an excerpt of this note you sent me to demonstrate that there ARE nice people out there in the blogosphere and that I misunderstood your post? It would mean a lot to me to be able to do that — for both of us.
You are REALLY sweet, and obviously one of the genuinely nice people out there. Please accept my apology for assuming (terrible!) otherwise.
Give me a shout if I can post a little blurb to give you another little shout out! : )
Seriously — DAY HAS BEEN MADE.
ITEM 3: SHERYL’S EDITED BLOG POST
***EDIT: She just sent me an e-mail apology! Cyber hugs!!((NOT SARCASTIC)) Thanks, Katrina. That’s all I wanted and I appreciate that. Your buddy Jules, on the other hand, oh boy…I’m trying not to judge her, despite my own response below. Really.***
ITEM 4: MEAN EMAIL FROM GRUMPY READER
“Your response to blogger Shamelessly Sheryl was quite strange. Did you really need to go on and on and on and on? There’s nothing quite so boring as an overly-long lecture. And I was wondering….since you always love to drop “Harvard” into casual conversation, how is it that you could graduate from such a prestigious university and yet have writing skills that are only about two notches above those of Julia Allison? For the record…it’s incorrect, when talking about your career, to say “it’s” trajectory. “It’s” means “it is.” The proper word to use would have been “its.” But please…do continue to clobber everyone over the head with the fact that you are a successful (albeit stupid) Harvard grad. Samantha Buhrmaster”
ITEM 3: MY RESPONSE TO MEAN EMAIL FROM GRUMPY READER
There was no lecture to Sheryl, just a defense of my profession, as she made some very incorrect assumptions. Plus, I am well within my rights to defend myself. There was nothing “strange” about it. And, considering my response to her got you so riled up, it apparently was not boring.
That said, I will defend myself again in response to your rude email:
The “writing” you are referring to on NonSociety is casual blogging. It is not meant to be prosaic or anything beyond conversational. I am not writing proper essays or features. Gasp! There may be sentence fragments! Or dangling participles! Or…wait for it….typos!!! And kudos — you found a typo. Obviously you have never read my award-winning thesis (and while you’re launching your personal attack on my stupidity, I’ll throw out there just for fun that I graduated with honors at the top of my class), nor have you likely happened upon any of my features in GQ, VOGUE, or countless other publications.
As I suggested to Sheryl, please look before you leap and do your homework before you judge others.
Sounds like you need to examine your own conscience to determine why you feel the need to be vicious and judgmental, especially towards someone you’ve never met and clearly know nothing — NOTHING — about.
You must be a very unhappy person, evidently trying to boost your self esteem by attacking others.
Best of luck — I hope you find happiness.
Ok, so in re-reading my response to Samantha, I could have been less sharp-tongued (I have not yet mastered the “save draft” willpower and instead go straight to “send”)….but really! So unnecessarily mean! As I’ve said before, and as I’m sure I will say again (and again), we have all worked VERY, VERY hard to get to where we are — and where we are going — so I can’t help but respond in such a way. Truth be told, I do care what people think. I read EVERYTHING, and I take it all to heart (although I know that needs to change based on the industry I’ve chosen….I’m still learning).
However, If people are going to try diminish the hard work I’ve done and the things I’ve achieved — of which I am very proud — I am going to have set them straight with cold hard facts (hence the mentions of thesis, etc). I’m not showing off or trying to name-drop or pat myself on the back — I’m just being 100% honest. I don’t expect everyone to like me, and I don’t expect all comments/reactions to be glowing or supportive or bunnies and rainbows, and I certainly want to be called out on something if a reader disagrees or thinks I missed the mark (as in the Sheryl response). I just ask that readers offer constructive criticism rather than going for the proverbial jugular. And this — love it or hate it — is how I roll. Maybe Shamelessly Sheryl will let me be be Shamelessly Katrina for a day or two…
Whew! Now I’m going to enjoy this beautiful weekend. Hope you all enjoy yours…and please, be kind…and, I will do my best to do the same.
ADDENDUM: In re-rereading this epic post, I decided to send an apology email to Samantha, which I just did. Sure she hurt my feelings, but I realized I’m not behaving any better by sending her a snippy email, whether I’m defending myself or not. Everything is a learning experience and I thank both Sheryl and Samantha for helping me take small steps in trying to become a better person…and for reminding me that I should look before I leap.